Birthday Girl!

It’s your birthday! We’re gonna party like it’s your birthday!

So 28th March is my birthday! Woohoo! 🎉

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I love getting birthday wishes from my friends and family, but this year I want to wish myself something too. I think that it’s so important to think about yourself sometimes. I usually tend to put everyone around me first and forget about my own self.

This post is not going to be a long one, but I feel like I need to write it.

Dear me,

I wish you all of the happiness in the world! May all of your wishes come true! May you find a work that you will love. May your studying be good and you won’t have any problems with it.

Please, please, please! Stop stressing about everything all the time. Don’t forget to give yourself a break. Don’t rush things up. Everything will happen if it needs to happen, just don’t overthink it. At the same time, try new things! Dare yourself more. Dream bigger than you’ve ever had!

Love yourself! Be yourself! Don’t let anyone say or make you feel otherwise.

Travel! You have to go somewhere this year!

It better be a good year! Let’s see what this year has prepared for me! And for now I’m officially 23!

See you next time! xo

25.03.2017

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A quote by Lewis Carrol.

Dear me,

I would really appreciate if you could just stop being so annoying and unproductive!

Honestly! What on earth is wrong with me?! I love writing here, but I’m so scared at the same time. I just don’t understand why I fell like this. Partly it’s because sometimes I just don’t know what to write about and if I have it’s not too positive, which isn’t something everyone wants to read. I’d rather bring here some positivity instead of negativity.

I have to say that there’s a part of me that would rather watch some tv series than to write something here or even more importantly to find a job! God I wish it was easier to find a good job. I want to like the job and not feel like I hate it but I still got to work there to have some money. Don’t you just love it when companies require experience even if you just finished studying at university?  How can you have any experience if you aren’t able to have that because no one is giving you a chance?!

Right now I’m looking for any job, just so I would have my own money and I could lift the weight off of my parents shoulders. Let’s just hope that I’ll find it soon! I’m tired of those sleepless nights because my mind is full of thoughts about job offers.

Maybe I had to sit at home without a job so something good happened, because today I found something pretty exciting! It’s not a job, but it might  as well turn into a job afterwards, who knows? 😏😬🙈 As for now, I’m going to try my best to be here more regularly and to take chances in real life!

See you next time! xo

Music

Everyone rises, everyone falls
Everyone spends some nights alone
Rich or for poor
I’m always yours
You never left me on my own

Tell me who, who would I be without you?
No matter how much we lose
Every time I bet my life on you

These lyrics are a perfect description of how I feel about music.

Music creates moments. It connects people around the world. It doesn’t matter in which language a song is, cause music is an international language, you can always get what a song is about. We are surrounded by different sounds. Sometimes you wouldn’t think of these sounds as a music, but if you’d focus, maybe then you’ll hear.
We like to listen to the music when we’re going to school/college/work. But do we ever think that a place and a song can be linked? Have you ever tried to read whilst listening to a song? It may not be the best idea for someone to listen to the music, when you trying to concentrate on reading, but it works for me. It is just a soundtrack to a book, just like they do for the movies. There are lots of songs which remind me of a certain book, or a certain character, and I love that feeling. Moments like that create memory.
For me, music is more than just a word. I eat, sleep, breathe music. I don’t remember a day, when I haven’t thought about it. If you would ever get to stay with me for a day, or even for a few hours, you’ll probably hear me singing without even realizing that. I can not and don’t want to change it, it is way too natural for me to sing all the time.
If you like different kinds of music, well I think we are on the same road. There is way to many different genres and styles to just choose one, that would’ve been boring (at least for me).
I appreciate anything from classical instrumental music to different contemporary genres. When it comes to singing I prefer blues, soul, r’n’b, pop and gospel. Even my final project at uni was on spirituals and gospels. I guess I have to thank movies  like “Sister Act” and “Sister Act 2:Back in the habit” for making me love that kind of music. I was little, maybe 10, when I watched the second part and I still remember the moment when Tanya Blunt and Lauryn Hill sang “His eye is on the sparrow” and I had goosebumps and even a bit overwhelmed! Still to this day I feel that overwhelming feeling and sometimes want to cry out of happiness because that song reminds me of my life, of what I feel towards music. “I sing because I’m happy, I sing because I’m free”. In the moment of doubt I always listen to this song and say to myself that no matter what, I will always have music as my back.

So when I heard JoJo’s song called “Music” for the first time (I used the lyrics in the beginning of this post) I had a deja vu. It’s a different story but still gives you the same feeling. I hear raw emotions, I hear hope, love and maybe even frustration blended with a beautiful voice. It may not be your average happy love song, it’s more of the sad song, but at least it’s about the true love for music. I’m a sucker for a sad song so it’s perfect haha!

I highly recommend you to listen to that song and to the whole album! I remember her song “Too little too late” and trust me that’s a whole new JoJo. She’s definitely more mature, there’s raw emotions and she’s painfully honest. And her voice! It’s way too beautiful and perfect for me to handle! I love that she uses her full range and not just one part of it like many other artists do, that shows versitality of her voice.

Here’s some of the links where you can find her album and herself:

http://instagram.com/iamjojo

http://www.iamjojoofficial.com/

See you next time! xo

Am I strong enough?

Wow! It’s been so long since I last posted here!

I felt so good about starting this blog, cause it was a little space I created so I could write about things I wanted to talk about, to maybe share with someone, to have a diary for myself….but suddenly I felt so uninspired, I would say that I was a bit lost. It just didn’t feel right for some reason. I don’t think I’ve EVER felt like this in my life. So frustrating!

I regreted probably every decision I’ve made after finishing uni. I let myself feel down and even feel sorry for myself and I’m never like this!

So from now on I’m not letting any obstacles get in a way. I have to press that play button to switch from pause because there’s nothing good in living with the feeling like you’re not moving. We learn from mistakes right? Let’s learn then! I’m feeling positive about the future!

This post isn’t that long but I think that for now it’s enough.

Let’s just hope that I’ll be here in a few days time 🙂

See you next time! xo

Think before you speak!

When dealing with critics always remember this: Critics judge things based on what is outside of their content of understanding.
― Shannon L. Alder

It’s so strange how words can affect us. When I was younger I wondered why negative comments can get to me? And even when you get tons of lovely words, you still stuck thinking about negative. Why does it work like that?

Lately I started remembering how people would judge me by the way I look, for what I loved (my love for music) or even my nationality and I still don’t understand why? I don’t understand why I never judged someone for any of those reasons and someone thought that they have the right to say that to me?

I remember my classmates looks and their phrases:”Why do you even bother to study music? You don’t have time to go out and have fun!”. Sometimes I could agree with it, but since I was little it was obvious for me that I cannot give up until I finished what I’ve started. And why would I even give up music school just because there was no time to go out? But for my classmates it was a huge deal. I remember how almost everyone (relatives and classmates) were telling me that I was making a huge mistake deciding to continue studying music at the university. They tend to believe that artists are less important and not even a “real profession” but just a hobby, and that it would be more beneficial for me to study economics, law, or medicine, otherwise I’m not gonna succeed in life (note that I have nothing against those professions). I remember arguing with some of my classmates because they were pissed off that our head teacher asked me to sing a song at our graduation. For them it was a crime if my voice would raise over theirs when we sang together. I literally had a moment when one of the girls closed my mouth with a hand so I couldn’t sing! How is it even normal?! I never even wanted to “shine bright like a diamond” when I was at school! I knew where’s stage and where’s school. But even worse than my classmates were some of my relatives who still to this moment ask: “But what are you going to do with singing in the future? It’s impossible to get there, to be on those big stages!”. Well, yeah, thanks for your support, it’s definitely helpful and reassuring! All I want in this life is to do what makes me happy! I don’t care if I’m not on a big stage, at least I’ll do my best trying to get there. I wish all those people could feel what I feel when I’m on stage, I wish some of them could just for a moment feel what it’s like to have a job of their dreams, cause they chose obvious and the easiest way instead of trying to do something different and maybe more interesting for them.

That’s just a part of what I hate about judging. I didn’t even start talking about judging someone’s body. That would be a separate post, but god knows I have so much to say about it!

I honestly regret nothing about going to 2 schools almost every day and having no time to go out. That shaped me to become a person I am today. I have a privilege to do what love, to sing. I don’t do it just for myself, I want to make people a bit happier or sometimes help them through songs. I wish everyone had that privilege, honestly it’s the best thing in the world!

See you next time!

New things

Have you ever had that feeling of being so scared to try something new, that you want to give up on it? Even if that’s something ecxiting? Even if you know that’s going to be a good experience for you and your career? Has it felt as if your brain’s working on its edge and your thoughts are too chaotic?

i have and I do now! Tomorrow I’m going to be talking to my potential future boss and for some stupid reason I’m scared. No, I’m not scared of the woman with whom I’m going to talk (I’ve spoken with her before and she seemed quite nice), I’m scared of the job itself!

I’ve been offered a job as a teacher, but never in a million years I could’ve imagined myself being a teacher! What if I do something wrong? What if I say something stupid unintentionally? I mean, I realize that it sounds too dramatic especially when I’m about to teach how to sing, but it still is scary.

You know, sometimes your imagination doesn’t match the reality, I realized it years ago, but it doesn’t stop me from dreaming of being on Madison Square Garden stage or receiving Grammy. It’s like in a Jessie J’s song “Sometimes dream come true”.

When I was little, I sing in my hairbrush all day long
Dressed up with lipstick, I’d mime and dance to a Whitney-song, yeah
I watched the Grammy’s
Imagine them calling out my name
Dreaming I was famous,
Like me and Prince on Purple Rain

But I understand that nothing in this world is given on a silver platter and I won’t become a worldwide singer over the night. So whilst I’m trying to get there, I need to work somewhere else, which means that I have to take that teaching job even if I have zero experience in teaching. I guess I’ll have to work out the best ways to teach someone by making few mistakes on the road.

i just hope that I’m not alone who’s feeling like that! I wanna wish everyone who’s feeling what I do right now GOOD LUCK! We’re  going to get there and everything’s going to be ok, it’s just the first step that’s scary!

See you next time! xo

Welcome!

Welcome to my blog!

Let me introduce myself and tell you a few words about what I do, what I like and what I’m going to write about in my blog.

My name is Jeanna and I’m 22. My biggest passion is music. I can’t imagine my life without it. I sang since I can remember. I was loud and wouldn’t care where I was, all I wanted was to sing, so I sang. That’s why this summer I got my bachelor degree in music and I decided to continue studying, so within 2,5 years I’ll get master degree. Thanks to my mum for always pushing me so I would work harder and for making me go to a music school when I didn’t want to (let’s just say that it was more than often, how stupid of me!). I’m glad that I stuck with the one thing I love the most, I can’t imagine myself doing something else!

Ok, let’s move to a part where I’m telling you what I’m going to write about.

Most definitely there are going to be few posts about music, cause  I personally haven’t seen anything like that.  There might be a post or two about makeup, because I love it way too much and my lipstick collection is getting out of control haha! There can be something about lifestyle or maybe I’ll write a review of a book I liked and would want to share my opinion.

I don’t want to mix it too much, but at the same time don’t want to limit myself with just one theme. I created this blog just to express myself, because I have too many thoughts in my head that I’d like to share with someone in case there’re interested.

For now, that’s all I wanted to say. xo

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